God gave me such a gift by giving me Cameron. He has been a source of inspiration for me for a long time; in fact, he's been a source of inspiration for many people for a long time. His influence seeps into so many things that happen to me on a daily basis. From my faith to my mindset to my physical wellness, I draw from the way I've seen him live his life in so many ways.
When another wrench has been thrown into my (comfort zone) gears and life happens, it would be so easy for me to throw my hands up and say, "Why me??", or, "What ELSE, God?!?" Then I think of Cameron being told eight years ago he had an Archnoid cystic mass in his brain behind his left eye. And how he was told they had found another one six months later in his brain behind the right eye. And how a year later he was told he had pseudo-tumor of the spine and had to have a painful spinal tap every quarter. And then how he had acquired tranverse myelitis of the spine another year later. When I think of those things, I remember how he took the news each time...with grace and dignity and never once - never ONCE - asking why him or what next in an angry way.
When my life has a hiccup or something happens that makes me angry, I think of how Cameron had sincere reason to be angry with the things that have happened to him, but how he has made me see that when these things are handed to you, it's because there is a greater purpose being served and other people who may not be as strong are watching you and how you handle it. That none of us are promised a perfect life here on this earth and each thing is designed for each person...that it's a great responsibility to be given to you. That changes my mindset right away when I start to feel tired or angry and helps me see things from a different perspective entirely. (So I guess he's right!)
I woke up so sick this morning and could hardly think straight from fever. Then I think of the constant pain Cameron is in from his chronic illness and that he just takes it in stride to the best of his ability, never complaining, knowing life goes on and so he must, too.
A few years ago, we were sitting at the dinner table discussing the fact that Cameron had brain surgery scheduled for the next day. The surgery meant that Cameron would have to have a fluid gauge sticking out of his head for a few days. Chelsea, being the typical teenage, teasing sister at the time, told Cameron she didn't know WHAT she would do if SHE had to have something sticking out of her head. Cameron looked her square in the eye and said the most profound words I've ever heard: "God knows who He's picking."
This last year had not been an easy one for us. We've been through pay cuts, job losses, illness, car accidents, near-death experiences, car fires, vandalism attacks, and major reality checks, just to name a FEW. It's been exhausting and frustrating, believe me. But I think back to those words and it renders me sane. Trusting is hard for all of us, especially when we suffer loss or tribulation. Today, no matter what happens, keep the faith and know you're being given a great responsibility...and remember: God knows who He's picking.